This is Me

    Born Jan.15, 1975. Son of Joanne and Benjamin Ealy Sr. at Dale county hospital, Ozark, Alabama. For a reason I haven't learned, my father divorced my mom and left. Raised mostly by my three older siblings and occasionally seeing my mom. My brothers and sister were born of a different father. So that makes me a half blood, an odd ball. At the age of five, it was court ordered that we (except my oldest brother) were placed in foster care. During this time our mother was given one year to get back on track and get us back. For whatever reason she failed to do so. Because of that, I ended up in four foster homes. All but one had abused me in some way or another. One was a drunk man who came home every night and whipped me with a belt. Though he served time, it still seems to not be enough. The other was a married couple. The woman had no business being a foster mom. She stripped me down to total nakedness and put me outside and left me there for what seemed like hours. I suppose it was her idea to teach me not to wet the bed. The third home ended up being the older kids. They were bullies, except they backed up what they said they were going to do. It was here I learned to deal with pain and where I found an intense amount of inner strength. Later we were put on t.v. and newspapers. It was the adoption agencies way of pleading for someone to adopt us. There was a couple who considered it, but realized they didn't have a big enough house for the three of us. Then another family took interest. At this point I became very quiet and shy. I was thinking, here's someone else we’re going to stay with for awhile till we get dumped onto someone else. But no, as it turns out they did adopt us. I didn't really worry about the adoption, when asked if I wanted to be and why my reply was something like," I'm tired of not being with my siblings, if they say yes then I'll say yes just to be with them." And so we were. And I was happy again...Until my brother turned eighteen, graduated from high school and moved away. Memories of us not being together came back and I started acting out. I realized my sister was going to also turn of age and leave too. I was once again going to be all alone. At age thirteen I exploded with anger which lasted till I was seventeen. It was the best birthday I can remember having. Probably because two days later I was heading off to the Florida Sheriffs Boys Ranch. Where I would spend the last two years I had in high school. Though once I left the house I no longer had a home to go to. It was on my birthday something clicked in my brain and I told myself that if I didn't change I was going to end up in prison or dead. There were many times I prayed for help and guidance from God. Many days and nights where I sit in my closet hiding and crying begging him to help me. I didn't receive that help. It was my intention, my will that changed the way I thought and ultimately changed the outcome of my life. Upon arriving to this new place and new school my GPA was 1.7, upon graduating it was 3.8. A change that I made within myself. The day of my graduation, my sister, mom and dad. came to see the miracle. My sister at some point got married. I stayed with her for a short while due to her husband not liking me there. On the verge of living on the street decided to join the Army. Basic training I was loving it. Nineteen years old and had a future. Short lived future because during our longest march my hip had a blow out. Though somehow I passed basic I didn't last long in regular army. My girlfriend at the time ended up cheating on me, I found out six months into the relationship. I broke up with her. Managed to locate my brother. He came and got me, the year was 1995. After a few years of working here and there, got another girlfriend. She wasn't looking to get serious and yet we did. After close to two years and a daughter of hers later. She tells me she had intercourse with someone else the same night we first did. Her daughter could be his. If she didn't cheat on me and didn't break up. I would've been proud to call her daughter mine. She was the sweetest, quietest, most loveable baby I knew. I loved her and she loved me very much. We were a family and I was happy. At this point I was working between my brother and friend installing floors when I met my wife for the first time. I wasn't ready at that time to get involved in another relationship. So I came across as a jerk. Turns out later we came to be anyways. I suppose we were meant to be. Seven years together, six years married and a son that I have no doubt is mine. I'll not ever deny him. She cheats on me. It took three weeks to get her back. I still loved her. A year and another son later, I had a family, I was in love, I was happy....She cheats again. Kicks me out and blames me, and yet I still loved her. It's been three years, my sons are in foster care. On the verge of being adopted. I'm about to lose my family yet again. Talk about history repeating itself. The boys have already been abused and neglected. There is still time to save them, my wife and myself from what's to come. I've tried everything I could think of to get my wife to understand that this is not the way it should be and it'll take both of us to change the outcome. She is very stubborn and yet I still have a love for her. I will always love her no matter what. That was my promise to her and I refuse to break it at least until death do we part. That doesn't mean I won't find somebody else and love them just as much. What's missing in this world is the understanding what love really is. It's more than physical, it's spiritual. To love unconditionally, no matter what.

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